They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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