fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
