Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
