We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I enjoy the company of your penis
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