Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
