I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
