margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
