ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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