Duck Duck Cougar?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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