im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize