areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Randomize
