She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Randomize
