maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
