I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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