I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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