dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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