As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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