Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
