Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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