New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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