i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
