I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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