thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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