the condom got lost in my hair
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
