So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
