Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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