its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
