she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
