her body is proportioned like a family guy character
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
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He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
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Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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