I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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