i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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