butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
