sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
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Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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