gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
