I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
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I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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