Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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