I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
