Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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