He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
