Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
