u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize