You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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