I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
