my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize