Soap is not a condiment
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
