I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
