on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
