And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize