I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
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