I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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