Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize