That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
