When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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