best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
