oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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