Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
