Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
