I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
where am i from again
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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