You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
only if we run a train.
done.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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