there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you never un-have a 4some
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
