Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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