WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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