JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
